Sex as a State of Mind

September 15, 2015 - 

Have you ever had a stressful day and come home, not wanting to be touched or experienced the exact opposite effect, walking in the door, taking your partner’s lips to yours and wanting nothing more than to dive in, strip down and fuck?

Sex is such a state of mind.  When you have it, you want more, when you are in a lull, you may not even realize anything is missing.  While your conscious self may not realize the lack, your body does.  Have you ever been angry or upset and not realized why?  Or do you know, deep down, that you need it, want it and haven’t let yourself have it? Listen to your body and stop overriding it with re-affirming thoughts that you aren’t in the mood.

If you don’t happen to be in the right frame of mind, and want to be, work towards that.  Allow yourself the room to be sexual.  Slow down, relax.  If you have a partner, work with them to help you set the mood.  Engage your senses.

If porn isn’t your thing, try a tv show that is has a high adult content. Gigolos’ is produced by Showtime and as the name implies, is all about a group of male gigolo’s who operate out of Las Vegas. Masters of Sex is another Showtime favorite, based on a couple who were instrumental in early sexual research between partners during the 1950s and 1960s.  While HBO hasn’t produced Real Sex in years –  they still routinely are available on demand, along with other favorites likeKatie Morgan’s sex specials and Cathouse, the series that documented the professional lives of the workers at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, a legal brothel in Nevada.  If you miss Real Sex, Sony Megatron offers a current glimpse into new and innovative ways to spice up the bedroom in her new series, Sex with Sunny Megatron on Showtime.

If you want to supercharge it, sign up for a class, a workshop or look up your local sex club, or swingers groups.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  Sometimes, just being in the space is enough to get your juices flowing.  Try your hand at being naughty in ‘public’ taking advantage of the opportunity to get ‘caught’ at a sex club.  Not yet ready or willing for that level of exposure, just walk around, indulge your voyeur self.  If you want to ease yourself in, look at taking a class or doing something sensual, as a couple such as massage, dance or yoga.

When I am stressed the divide between my brain and body can seem a chasm.  Exercise offers the double benefit of an opportunity to re-engage with your physical self, while also being a great stress reliever.  Exercise delivers both neurochemical and behavioral benefits from reduced stress hormones to a better self-image.  It is a great mood booster to watch your body mold and shape, to be stronger, to lift more, to have better balance, to do things you couldn’t do before!   You may even achieve orgasm as a byproduct of exercise! Coined Coregasms, women have reported reachingexercise induced orgasm based on a study published in the Journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy.  If you aren’t one of the lucky orgasmic ones, you can still enjoy the eye candy at the gym!

Don’t forget the sounds and tastes of sex!

Whether you like it Porn Style or want to Marvin Gay and get it on, your sense of hearing is more advanced than your eyesight.  Music can set the stage. There are actually apps out there that claim to put you in the mood through the use of audio specifically designed to promote a healthy sex life.  If words move you more that music, try aural erotica alone or with your partner. Talk through your fantasies.  Engage in dirty dialogue.  Have your mouth work double time! Make sex a full body experience and engage all of your senses. Try an aphrodisiac designed meal to increase your sex drive. Play with your partner. Use him or her as a serving platter and don’t forget to lick your plate clean!

The more you think about it, the more sex you will have.  On the path to pushing boundaries and limits and dreaming to be DesireBound, Be playful, get creative. Spice it Up!